MY KAI KAI — A LOVE STORY

 I've been taking it slow the last few days.  I'm sitting on my porch and it's windy outside.  That's fine-- the sound is soothing.

 I'm remembering my Kai Kai.   And there's Starlight, too. 💜

 Kai Kai came into rescue in April of 2011, so I had him in my life for nine years and four days. 

 He was a five (almost six) year old.  His sister Pug had already found a home.  He still had a black face and a stunning red and black coat.   

 He was so mellow-- there wasn't a mean bone in his body. 

 Kai Kai was with me a year and no one adopted him-- which was just fine with me.  He officially became part of our family.  (I've said before that I don't know why some are adopted and some are not.  It doesn't make sense.)  He loved trips to the Farm, where my daughter lived at the time.

 We could use long leashes there because there were acres of land.

Kai Kai was not brave-- but one time he decided to explore the top of the table.   Treasures!  

When I had eye surgery in 2013, Kai Kai stayed near.   The bond we had was SO close.   He was always near me.   At night, he would curl up so that he was touching me.  If I woke during the night, I could reach out to run my fingers through his soft hair.   He almost was like a therapy dog because he was so calming to be around.  

 In 2016, Kai Kai began to have trouble with his sight.   Things seemed to surprise him.   So, we went to the ophthalmologist. 

 He had developed cataracts.  We decided to try to save his vision.   He had surgery to repair the cataracts, but he had every possible reaction. (This is NOT common, so don't be afraid to do this surgery.)    He developed glaucoma, then retinal separation.   He ended up with four surgeries but in the end, both eyes hemorrhaged and both had to be removed.  (My ophthalmologist was awesome, with me only paying for the anesthesia.   They even monitored Kai Kai daily after he was diagnosed with glaucoma.  He went every morning and I picked him up late afternoon, no charge.) 

 Before he lost his sight, he wasn't brave, but he ran in the yard with the others, and had fun.   After surgery, and loss of sight, he roamed very cautiously and eventually in a limited space.  I was out with him, even with a fenced yard.

 Kai Kai let me have fun with him.   We have a strange sense of humor in our family. 

He was such a good sport.   "Where are you?"  

 He went on lots of trips with us to our daughter's home at the Farm and then to Williamsburg.

 If he heard my voice, his tail would wag fast.  Even after he had eye surgery, and he heard my voice, his tail was going quickly.

He was so good with the other dogs.  He never had to be alpha.   The others, especially fosters, knew this and he was a safe place for them to curl up with.

Three years ago, Kai Kai had a stroke.  His head was severely bent, almost upside down. 

I did everything I could to keep him comfortable, not knowing if he would make it.   

But, he did!

I carried him in and out, and up the stairs at night. 

He still slept on the bed-- sometimes joined by Callie-Hound.  (She doesn't sleep on the bed at night when she's here, she's a bed hog.)

As long as I was close, he was secure.

He had two beds in the kitchen, and he could get from one to the other.  (Of course, he had beds all over, but these were his favorites.)

He loved being outside, absorbing the sunshine. 

If I worked in the playroom/office, he was content to be on the couch with Piper.  He never fully recovered from the stroke and had a permanent head tilt.   Sometimes, he walked in circles, especially on the hill in the back yard that has a slope.  He never managed to conquer that, but I was there to rescue him. 

Wherever I was, he was. 

He was my heart.  ❤️

He was content and he was loved, and he knew it.

He enjoyed the soft beds sent by a friend.  

I took so many pictures of him.

I love this one-- I'm not sure why.  It's in the playroom/office, close to my desk.

 Kai Kai was diagnosed with kidney disease over a year ago, but it progressed slowly.   Then, in the last two weeks, he quickly changed.   He ate almost nothing. I took him to the vet for bloodwork and for fluids.  His mouth was so dry. 

I thought he had another stroke.  His head was tilted again.   I knew he was an old boy, he would have been 15 in June.  I thought he'd make it.   And then, I received the phone call that his bloodwork was really bad.   In some areas, the tests couldn't measure as high as his numbers were.  He began to act like he was going into a coma.  His mouth began to have the "fishy" smell that I knew came in the last stages of kidney failure.   But, I had hoped.  And hoped. 

The vet said there was nothing we could do-- yes, I could have admitted him to the vet for round the clock fluids and then fluids every day.... But, it wouldn't have changed anything.  I wasn't going to separate him from me.  He was my boy.  He was my heart. I was HIS heart.   We were not going to be apart.   I have stayed home from trips to take care of him.  I wasn't going to be separated from him now.   If it could have changed his diagnosis, yes, I would have.  But, it wouldn't.   He was going to leave me.  

So, the next day, the vet and I (with masks and gloves on) sat outside on a bench, with the wind blowing around us.  It was a beautiful day.  April 8-- and it was my mom's birthday.   Kai Kai was already leaving me, I knew that.  There was no reaction to me.  No tail wags.  No eating.  Nothing.  He was done.   So, I held him, and we let him go together.  I am blessed to have a vet who loved him, too.  She let me hold him as he left my life.  (With the pandemic, this isn't always possible.)   He was on a soft quilt, and he just quietly left. 

I think my mom, and Max, and Starlight, and Nala and BeeBee, Floyd, Scooterbug, Cranberry Muffin, and oh, so many others met him as he joyfully ran to the them.  He could see, he could run.  He may have looked back for a second to see me, but his heart knew I would see him again, so he went on.   I was so very blessed to have a dog like Kai Kai in my life.  A heart dog.   Yes, I love them all, but he had my heart.  Some of you know what that is like.  One of those dogs that comes to you and changes you, one that you love more (yes, it happens) and one who loves you more.   Kai Kai and I were that.  He was my boy.  I love you, my sweet little man.  I will see you again.  💙⭐

A friend in rescue told me that Kai Kai would want me to keep on with rescue.  She said there were so many who had hearts that were still beating who would need help.   That's what rescue does.   I've been privileged to love so many.  But, my Kai Kai stayed.  And he will remain in my heart in a safe place.  My Kai Kai.  💜